🦊 Under the same 24 hours
Thinking about time
Back in the day when I used to train writers, one of the biggest challenges people faced was finding time to write. My response was usually something like: your 24 hours are already filled with whatever you do today, so what are you going to give up in order to write? You can’t just squeeze something new in—something old has to go. Sometimes you can reclaim time from scrolling on social media; other times, you have to give up something that matters more to you.
Anything that applies to writing also applies to life.
Since I came back from Japan, I’ve been reflecting on how I want to organize my time. I dedicate many hours and a lot of energy each week to work, and for now, I don’t see a way to change that. So what’s left to me are the weekday evenings, Saturdays, and Sundays. In that time, I want to exercise, study Japanese, meet up with friends, get to know new people, travel… And there just isn’t time for all of that. There’s no time to study as much as I’d like, to watch all the anime I want, to nurture my existing relationships and build new ones, to be in São Paulo and also in Porto Alegre, Tokyo, Florianópolis, Goiânia, and so many other places where people I care about live.
As much as I don’t want to admit it, there’s a limit to what fits into a life.
When I confront that realization, I quickly notice some familiar thoughts creeping in: I should spend more time with my family, I should clean the house more often, I’m not studying or reading or walking as much as I should… If time is limited, then I have to plan better, I have to be smarter, there’s no time to waste.
Yesterday, I spent the day at the park with a friend and her little one. We walked, talked, played with the child—something we scheduled without a set time to start or end. We parted ways when we felt like going home.
Once, I dated a guy who didn’t spend much time in the city, so on the weekends he managed to visit, he’d schedule three, four, five hangouts in a single day. He’d have lunch with one person before grabbing coffee with another, then go play pool with someone else, and then have dinner before heading to a bar… It was a very intense life, and he told me he wanted to make the most out of life.
I know where these “I should” and “I have to” thoughts come from. It’s a part of me that wants to make sure I live a good life and believes that this is the way to do it—the same way a mother says “don’t stay out too late” more out of fear than longing.
I wish to nurture a life that flows from the things I want to do an experience, rather than following the course of obligations. That’s why, when I catch myself thinking “I should…”, I try to remember what is it that I’m taking care of. If I stay home instead of arranging meetups with people I haven’t seen in a while, I recognize that I want some rest—and that, at this moment, rest is more important to me than seeing those dear people. I know it’s one less day in a limited life, but it’s the life I’m choosing to balance my current needs.
Many things already impose themselves on the 24 hours I have each day: work and maintenance activities (hygiene, food, etc.). So may at least the rest of my time be lived with ease and intention.
With love,
Tales